Auslander

The fact is that I am in a strange country, surrounded by people who I know but do not understand, listening to music that I love but do not understand a single word, accustomed to a life I knew nothing of until recently, covered by nothing and feeling at peace for the first time in my life.
I'm wasting my life and couldn't care less.
Not many people can understand what I am talking about.
Money becomes abstract when you can't enjoy fruits of labor.
But that purifies your perspective on things that are important. Spartan life draws Spartan thoughts. I thought that I used to look at life in binary positions. Now I understand that I was spoiled. I understand better asceticism. Daily I am trying to skin myself and strip of all the unnecessary things until I am just an idea.
For me it was a life-changing experience to enter a first water lock.
The way river narrowes.
Gates close.
Impatience becomes futile attempt to control things that are out of my reach.
And after seconds that became insignificant to count,one continues with journey.
There is joy.
But I find it in the smallest things I can imagine.
I started to pay attention to nature. People became just a passing experience.
I am detached from my previous life.
I understand feelings differently.
And I am transitioning to a place where I can't be hurt anymore.
Because in the grand scale of things, I am writing in a language that is not mine, speaking languages that are alien to me, hearing words that are unrevealed to me.
And I will master all of it.

Živjeti se ne mora. Ploviti se mora.